By Bob Bowersox
If you actually know your wife, you could fall in love with all of them over again.
48 Hours to a better Marriage is a robust and straightforward publication which may assist you shut what writer Bob Bowersox calls "the intimacy gap." while Bob came upon that he and his spouse of twelve years, Toni, had drifted aside, he was firm to maintain their marriage alive. The middle of the matter? even though they nonetheless enjoyed one another, Bob and his spouse now not knew one another rather well. such a lot in their rules approximately each other were shaped once they first met and married—and had by no means replaced, whilst they themselves have been becoming and changing.
So Bob devised a "reacquaintance shape" for husbands and other halves to accomplish, overlaying matters like paintings, intimacy and relatives existence. Husband and spouse crammed in solutions to subject matters like "three issues i might do if I had the money to do them" and "on a scale of one to ten, the significance i believe intimacies like...
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Extra resources for 48 Hours to a Stronger Marriage. Reconnect with Your Spouse and Re-Energize Your Marriage
Well, it turns out that there are two types of data we take in about our partner, what Swann and Gill called “diagnostic” and “nondiagnostic” information. Diagnostic information is Sgt. Joe Friday’s, “Just the facts, ma’am”: things like the color of your lover’s hair (say, brown), her job (physician’s assistant, for example), his daily workout (jogging). These are known, indisputable facts. Nondiagnostic information is more nebulous; it derives from the assumptions we make based on the facts we’ve gathered: I assume she’s a physician’s assistant because she wants to be a doctor.
One last don’t: Don’t be afraid. Trust yourself and trust that the person you really are is the person your partner loves, that he or she wants to know this information about you, that he or she is hungry for it. Finally, enjoy yourself. Half the fun of the Reacquaintance experience is meeting someone you haven’t been in touch with for a while—yourself. The other half, of course, is letting your partner in on the fun. 4 THE SETTING A place for everything, and everything in its place. —SAMUEL SMILES, THRIFT AS I LEARNED FROM MY OWN experiences with Reacquaintance, the setting you choose—and that includes both the time and the place—is a crucial element of the process.
I saw the concept of Reacquaintance as a simple, pleasurable way for us to bring each other into focus again—to update ourselves, if you will. Meeting Toni had been the most thrilling event of my life. I wanted to meet her again, learn about her again, fall in love with her again. And I did. The Form and the process worked just as I’d hoped. But would it work for others as well as it had for us? To find out, I needed to recruit some willing participants. While not all were unequivocally thrilled about the idea of Reacquaintance before they participated, everybody felt that it had made a significant difference in the way they related after they’d gone through it.
48 Hours to a Stronger Marriage. Reconnect with Your Spouse and Re-Energize Your Marriage by Bob Bowersox